[fic] liar, liar
Aug. 19th, 2011 04:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
leonhart_17Title: Liar, Liar
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue!
Spoilers: Slight through 2x03
Summary: Maura can lie now, Jane wants to know why...
Maura could lie now.
It wasn't something she realized the significance of immediately, even considering an untruth was rare for her, but when she lied and didn't completely freak out, she did notice.
And she knew precisely why.
"Jane is going to be okay." Even as she'd said it at the hospital after the shooting, it had tasted like a lie, but she'd needed to believe it so badly that her body had accepted it as truth. Repeating it over the next two days while they'd all waited for the injured detective to wake up, she hadn't even been able to feel the twinge of a lie over the anxiety of waiting. She'd needed the statement to be true. It had proven true, but at the time, she'd never said anything that felt more like a falsehood. There had been so much blood - on the concrete, on Jane's shirt, on her own hands. It was everywhere. It was Jane's life and it was soaking everything.
But a few months later when she said she'd always seen Jane as the maternal type, it came out smoothly because it was the truth. She had always been able to see Jane as a mother. Likely her friend would be a mostly laid-back parent, avoiding smothering her kids the way she felt her mother smothered her, but protective when she needed to be, and fun. She had no doubt that Jane Rizzoli would be a fun mother to any kid lucky enough to have her.
The lie of it was when Jane had called her a liar. She couldn't admit to her vision of Jane as a mother because there was another component to it that she couldn't confess to. So she lied and agreed immediately when Jane had accused her of lying about seeing the detective as maternal. Because every time she'd thought of Jane as a mother, she'd been a part of it, and not as a friend. It was something she hadn't been able to look too closely at for her own sake, needing her best friend more than she needed the complications that would arise if she acknowledged that she wanted to be the other parent to Jane's children.
No, her newfound ability to lie served her well. She wasn't going to make a habit of untruth, but she could see why people appreciated the possibility of hiding things. She had always been able to skirt around questions she didn't want to answer - "Is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" - without lying, laughing it off or changing the subject instead of answering.
It wasn't until Jane's direct question - "You don't want to sleep with me. Do you?" - that she found herself lying to Jane's face, something she'd never wanted to do, even after she found that she could. The truth was, while Giovanni would likely prove athletic and more than capable in the bedroom, he wasn't the only blue-collar Boston Italian that she wanted to sleep with. He wasn't even the blue-collar Boston Italian that she wanted to sleep with the most. But she'd decided not to open that issue to possibility. So lying was necessary.
However, she should have realized that Jane would figure out her new skill sooner or later, she was a highly skilled detective, after all. And when she did…she wasn't exactly pleased by the development.
The elevator chime drew the M.E.'s eyes up from the case file she was perusing - a body found on the scene of one of Drug Control's busts. The body was unidentified, but they'd requested she do an autopsy. The expression on Jane's face as the elevator doors opened made her pause. "Jane, what's…"
"You can lie." Jane's declaration was given at a normal volume, but Maura could swear she heard a note of accusation in her friend's tone.
"Jane…"
"Don't you deny it, Maura," the brunette said before she could try and do just that, the accusing tone more plain. "How long?" It was a simple question but Maura's eyes dropped to the files on her desk, the doctor clearly uncomfortable. "Maura," Jane implored. "How long have you been able to lie? You couldn't before. What changed?" Maura still wasn't meeting her eyes and Jane rounded her friend's desk and crouched, rotating her chair so that Maura was facing her. "Talk to me."
Maura found Jane's pleading brown gaze and felt her resolve weaken. "How did you figure it out?"
"That's what I do," Jane reminded her, voice more gentle. "Have you ever lied to me?" Maura didn't answer, eyes falling to her lap where both hands were fiddling idly with her pen. "What was it?" Now the detective's voice was edged with desperation. "Maura, you're my best friend. I just…I need to know."
Maura swallowed hard, looking down the slight degrees to meet the detective's eyes. "I would never lie to you about something big, Jane. Believe that."
Jane shook her head. "What changed? How come you can lie now? I mean, you couldn't and now you can, Maura. When did it start?"
"It started after the shooting," Maura answered her, sighing heavily. "You were dying, could have died, should have died…" Jane winced. "There was no reason to believe that you were going to make it, you understand. There was so much blood, Jane." Maura seemed to be speaking to herself almost and Jane placed both hands on her friend's knees, trying to get her attention.
"I made it," Jane reassured her softly. "I'm right here, okay?" Maura's breath was ragged, but she nodded. "What about the shooting made you be able to lie, sweetie?" The familiarity slipped out without either of them noticing it.
"I had to keep saying that you were going to make it," Maura said, voice quiet and sad. "It felt like a lie, but I still had to say it. I had to believe it, Jane." She shook her head, one hand skittering forward toward Jane's hand on her knee before she withdrew it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I never wanted to lie. To anyone, but definitely not to you."
Jane nodded, sharp eyes considering her. "Why did you feel you had to lie about whatever it was? You don't have to tell me what the lie was if you don't want to, I'm not going to push you, but what did I do to make you think you had to lie to me?"
Maura froze, considering the best way to answer the query. She didn't want to lie to Jane any further, not in the middle of a conversation about her new ability to lie, not ever, but she wasn't sure she knew how to avoid the topic when Jane was sitting in front of her pleading with her to understand.
"Jane…I didn't mean to hurt you, and I won't lie to you again," Maura said fervently. "You asked me a very direct question and I had to answer before I had time to formulate a way around the untruth. So I lied. And I'm sorry, Jane…"
Jane frowned, trying to puzzle it out. "What did I ask you?" She had her own hopes about the question she'd asked that she wanted to have been answered with a lie. Because the jealousy she'd felt about Maura pursuing Giovanni would be a lot more justified if she knew Maura had lied about wanting to sleep with her. That was the only direct, non-case-related question she could remember asking Maura lately and it was the one she hoped had been the lie. She comforted herself with the idea that it was the only one that made sense. Nothing else she could come up with would prompt the ever-honest Maura to lie to her.
"Jane, you said you wouldn't push," Maura reminded her gently, the start of a smile curling the corners of her mouth.
The detective sighed, nodding. "Yeah, but I think I have an idea what you lied about." She squeezed Maura's knee gently. "At least, I hope it was a lie." Maura's eyes met hers with what Jane hoped was excitement dawning in them, and the brunette took a deep breath. She was a cop. Being brave was her job. If she wanted Maura, which she did, she would have to be the one to make the first move forward. "You know, friends don't typically have to ask each other if one wants to sleep with the other, Maura," she informed her friend. "Not more than once, anyway."
Maura was definitely smiling at her, an almost giddy look on her face. "You've asked me more than once if I was interested in sleeping with you," she said, keeping her calm admirably.
"I have," Jane confirmed, smirking crookedly. "As I remember, the first time you laughed it off. And last week…"
"Last week I told you no," finished Maura. "Jane…"
"If that was the truth, that's fine," the detective interjected. "You're my best friend, Maura. But if that was the lie, that's more than okay too."
The doctor let her smile grow as she leaned forward, Jane's hands still on her knees. "Oh?"
Jane swallowed hard, affected by the other woman's proximity. "You're not going to lie to me this time. I could just ask you again," she said, voice low. Maura didn't respond and the detective leaned forward herself. "Maura, do you want to sleep with me?" Jane asked, voice barely a whisper. "Because I want to sleep with you."
Maura's hands lifted toward Jane's face, cupping the detective's jaw on either side of her face as intense hazel green eyes studied her features as though she was seeing them for the first time. "I do want to sleep with you, Jane." The smirk the brunette was wearing slipped into a smile. "However, in the interest of honesty, I feel I need to confess that I do not simply seek a physical tryst with you."
"So, I'm doing better than Giovanni?" Jane teased, smirk returning quickly.
Maura gave her a familiar chiding look. "Jane! Please don't compare yourself to Giovanni. I am being serious."
"So am I," Jane agreed, though her tone was light and she laughed. "Maura, it's you. You're beautiful, you're a genius, you're kind, generous, sweet, soft-hearted, a thousand other amazing things. How could anyone only want something physical with you? It's not possible."
The doctor laughed as well, nails dragging across the back of the detective's neck as she drew her in unconsciously. "I'm not sure that's true. Besides my parents, you're the longest relationship I've ever had. And plenty of others were perfectly happy to merely have a physical relationship with me. As I was with them," she said, not recognizing the narrowing gap between their faces.
"Then those people were stupid," Jane murmured breathily, her hands tightening slightly against Maura's knees as she leaned her weight slowly forward.
"You're very intelligent," Maura countered, the words breathed against the brunette's lips a heartbeat before they met. Dark, wild hair curled around the doctor's slender fingers and plush lips parted to pull on her bottom lip.
Jane sucked in a breath through her nose, pressing closer. The first touch of Maura's lips against her own was all it took for her to be hooked. Maura was soft, smelled sweet, and tasted even better. Jane was surprised for only a moment when the blonde made the first move to deepen the kiss, her tongue tracing the seam of Jane's lips, but the detective made no move to stop her, letting her in willingly.
Maura wasn't tentative in her exploration, the doctor swallowing a moan from Jane's chest. "You're good at this," the detective mumbled into a gap for breath between kisses. "Not that that's a surprise, really." That comment drew Maura back to laugh, one hand covering her mouth. "You're beautiful, you know that?" Jane said, the statement seemingly completely out of her control, like she couldn't help but say it.
"Lookin' hot?" Maura questioned teasingly as she straightened in her chair.
Jane rolled her eyes. "I thought we weren't going to bring up that idiot again," she reminded her. "You're stunning, Maura. I want to take you out. On a date."
"Get me naked and lick my face?" the blonde asked, biting her lip to hold back a grin, obviously enjoying being to one to tease Jane for a change.
"No," Jane stated flatly. "Stop bringing up that tool. You're too good for him. I want to take you out for a nice, respectable dinner at one of those places you like that I can't pronounce." She smirked. "The naked part can come later, maybe. If the date goes well."
Maura blinked, letting go of her gnawed lip to smile. "The word date implies…"
"Yeah," Jane agreed quietly. "If that's okay with you…"
"Yes!" Maura interjected eagerly, blush coloring her cheeks. Her tone calmed, "I mean, yes, Jane. Pursuing an interpersonal relationship with you is precisely what I want." Jane grinned, amused by Maura's way of expressing herself. "I would like it if we were to try dating," the doctor clarified, ducking her face as her blush brightened.
Jane nodded, taking another quick kiss before she pushed herself to her feet. "Great. Then I'll pick you up at eight." She winked over her shoulder as she left Maura's office and the doctor slumped back into her chair, giggling giddily as her busy mind started trying to figure out what to wear.
She wouldn't ever make a habit of lying, and never would lie to Jane if she humanly could, but she couldn't help thinking that it had certainly come in handy. Just this once.
*****
I'm not crazy about the last line, but I'm tried of staring at this and not coming up with anything else...
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue!
Spoilers: Slight through 2x03
Summary: Maura can lie now, Jane wants to know why...
Maura could lie now.
It wasn't something she realized the significance of immediately, even considering an untruth was rare for her, but when she lied and didn't completely freak out, she did notice.
And she knew precisely why.
"Jane is going to be okay." Even as she'd said it at the hospital after the shooting, it had tasted like a lie, but she'd needed to believe it so badly that her body had accepted it as truth. Repeating it over the next two days while they'd all waited for the injured detective to wake up, she hadn't even been able to feel the twinge of a lie over the anxiety of waiting. She'd needed the statement to be true. It had proven true, but at the time, she'd never said anything that felt more like a falsehood. There had been so much blood - on the concrete, on Jane's shirt, on her own hands. It was everywhere. It was Jane's life and it was soaking everything.
But a few months later when she said she'd always seen Jane as the maternal type, it came out smoothly because it was the truth. She had always been able to see Jane as a mother. Likely her friend would be a mostly laid-back parent, avoiding smothering her kids the way she felt her mother smothered her, but protective when she needed to be, and fun. She had no doubt that Jane Rizzoli would be a fun mother to any kid lucky enough to have her.
The lie of it was when Jane had called her a liar. She couldn't admit to her vision of Jane as a mother because there was another component to it that she couldn't confess to. So she lied and agreed immediately when Jane had accused her of lying about seeing the detective as maternal. Because every time she'd thought of Jane as a mother, she'd been a part of it, and not as a friend. It was something she hadn't been able to look too closely at for her own sake, needing her best friend more than she needed the complications that would arise if she acknowledged that she wanted to be the other parent to Jane's children.
No, her newfound ability to lie served her well. She wasn't going to make a habit of untruth, but she could see why people appreciated the possibility of hiding things. She had always been able to skirt around questions she didn't want to answer - "Is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" - without lying, laughing it off or changing the subject instead of answering.
It wasn't until Jane's direct question - "You don't want to sleep with me. Do you?" - that she found herself lying to Jane's face, something she'd never wanted to do, even after she found that she could. The truth was, while Giovanni would likely prove athletic and more than capable in the bedroom, he wasn't the only blue-collar Boston Italian that she wanted to sleep with. He wasn't even the blue-collar Boston Italian that she wanted to sleep with the most. But she'd decided not to open that issue to possibility. So lying was necessary.
However, she should have realized that Jane would figure out her new skill sooner or later, she was a highly skilled detective, after all. And when she did…she wasn't exactly pleased by the development.
The elevator chime drew the M.E.'s eyes up from the case file she was perusing - a body found on the scene of one of Drug Control's busts. The body was unidentified, but they'd requested she do an autopsy. The expression on Jane's face as the elevator doors opened made her pause. "Jane, what's…"
"You can lie." Jane's declaration was given at a normal volume, but Maura could swear she heard a note of accusation in her friend's tone.
"Jane…"
"Don't you deny it, Maura," the brunette said before she could try and do just that, the accusing tone more plain. "How long?" It was a simple question but Maura's eyes dropped to the files on her desk, the doctor clearly uncomfortable. "Maura," Jane implored. "How long have you been able to lie? You couldn't before. What changed?" Maura still wasn't meeting her eyes and Jane rounded her friend's desk and crouched, rotating her chair so that Maura was facing her. "Talk to me."
Maura found Jane's pleading brown gaze and felt her resolve weaken. "How did you figure it out?"
"That's what I do," Jane reminded her, voice more gentle. "Have you ever lied to me?" Maura didn't answer, eyes falling to her lap where both hands were fiddling idly with her pen. "What was it?" Now the detective's voice was edged with desperation. "Maura, you're my best friend. I just…I need to know."
Maura swallowed hard, looking down the slight degrees to meet the detective's eyes. "I would never lie to you about something big, Jane. Believe that."
Jane shook her head. "What changed? How come you can lie now? I mean, you couldn't and now you can, Maura. When did it start?"
"It started after the shooting," Maura answered her, sighing heavily. "You were dying, could have died, should have died…" Jane winced. "There was no reason to believe that you were going to make it, you understand. There was so much blood, Jane." Maura seemed to be speaking to herself almost and Jane placed both hands on her friend's knees, trying to get her attention.
"I made it," Jane reassured her softly. "I'm right here, okay?" Maura's breath was ragged, but she nodded. "What about the shooting made you be able to lie, sweetie?" The familiarity slipped out without either of them noticing it.
"I had to keep saying that you were going to make it," Maura said, voice quiet and sad. "It felt like a lie, but I still had to say it. I had to believe it, Jane." She shook her head, one hand skittering forward toward Jane's hand on her knee before she withdrew it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I never wanted to lie. To anyone, but definitely not to you."
Jane nodded, sharp eyes considering her. "Why did you feel you had to lie about whatever it was? You don't have to tell me what the lie was if you don't want to, I'm not going to push you, but what did I do to make you think you had to lie to me?"
Maura froze, considering the best way to answer the query. She didn't want to lie to Jane any further, not in the middle of a conversation about her new ability to lie, not ever, but she wasn't sure she knew how to avoid the topic when Jane was sitting in front of her pleading with her to understand.
"Jane…I didn't mean to hurt you, and I won't lie to you again," Maura said fervently. "You asked me a very direct question and I had to answer before I had time to formulate a way around the untruth. So I lied. And I'm sorry, Jane…"
Jane frowned, trying to puzzle it out. "What did I ask you?" She had her own hopes about the question she'd asked that she wanted to have been answered with a lie. Because the jealousy she'd felt about Maura pursuing Giovanni would be a lot more justified if she knew Maura had lied about wanting to sleep with her. That was the only direct, non-case-related question she could remember asking Maura lately and it was the one she hoped had been the lie. She comforted herself with the idea that it was the only one that made sense. Nothing else she could come up with would prompt the ever-honest Maura to lie to her.
"Jane, you said you wouldn't push," Maura reminded her gently, the start of a smile curling the corners of her mouth.
The detective sighed, nodding. "Yeah, but I think I have an idea what you lied about." She squeezed Maura's knee gently. "At least, I hope it was a lie." Maura's eyes met hers with what Jane hoped was excitement dawning in them, and the brunette took a deep breath. She was a cop. Being brave was her job. If she wanted Maura, which she did, she would have to be the one to make the first move forward. "You know, friends don't typically have to ask each other if one wants to sleep with the other, Maura," she informed her friend. "Not more than once, anyway."
Maura was definitely smiling at her, an almost giddy look on her face. "You've asked me more than once if I was interested in sleeping with you," she said, keeping her calm admirably.
"I have," Jane confirmed, smirking crookedly. "As I remember, the first time you laughed it off. And last week…"
"Last week I told you no," finished Maura. "Jane…"
"If that was the truth, that's fine," the detective interjected. "You're my best friend, Maura. But if that was the lie, that's more than okay too."
The doctor let her smile grow as she leaned forward, Jane's hands still on her knees. "Oh?"
Jane swallowed hard, affected by the other woman's proximity. "You're not going to lie to me this time. I could just ask you again," she said, voice low. Maura didn't respond and the detective leaned forward herself. "Maura, do you want to sleep with me?" Jane asked, voice barely a whisper. "Because I want to sleep with you."
Maura's hands lifted toward Jane's face, cupping the detective's jaw on either side of her face as intense hazel green eyes studied her features as though she was seeing them for the first time. "I do want to sleep with you, Jane." The smirk the brunette was wearing slipped into a smile. "However, in the interest of honesty, I feel I need to confess that I do not simply seek a physical tryst with you."
"So, I'm doing better than Giovanni?" Jane teased, smirk returning quickly.
Maura gave her a familiar chiding look. "Jane! Please don't compare yourself to Giovanni. I am being serious."
"So am I," Jane agreed, though her tone was light and she laughed. "Maura, it's you. You're beautiful, you're a genius, you're kind, generous, sweet, soft-hearted, a thousand other amazing things. How could anyone only want something physical with you? It's not possible."
The doctor laughed as well, nails dragging across the back of the detective's neck as she drew her in unconsciously. "I'm not sure that's true. Besides my parents, you're the longest relationship I've ever had. And plenty of others were perfectly happy to merely have a physical relationship with me. As I was with them," she said, not recognizing the narrowing gap between their faces.
"Then those people were stupid," Jane murmured breathily, her hands tightening slightly against Maura's knees as she leaned her weight slowly forward.
"You're very intelligent," Maura countered, the words breathed against the brunette's lips a heartbeat before they met. Dark, wild hair curled around the doctor's slender fingers and plush lips parted to pull on her bottom lip.
Jane sucked in a breath through her nose, pressing closer. The first touch of Maura's lips against her own was all it took for her to be hooked. Maura was soft, smelled sweet, and tasted even better. Jane was surprised for only a moment when the blonde made the first move to deepen the kiss, her tongue tracing the seam of Jane's lips, but the detective made no move to stop her, letting her in willingly.
Maura wasn't tentative in her exploration, the doctor swallowing a moan from Jane's chest. "You're good at this," the detective mumbled into a gap for breath between kisses. "Not that that's a surprise, really." That comment drew Maura back to laugh, one hand covering her mouth. "You're beautiful, you know that?" Jane said, the statement seemingly completely out of her control, like she couldn't help but say it.
"Lookin' hot?" Maura questioned teasingly as she straightened in her chair.
Jane rolled her eyes. "I thought we weren't going to bring up that idiot again," she reminded her. "You're stunning, Maura. I want to take you out. On a date."
"Get me naked and lick my face?" the blonde asked, biting her lip to hold back a grin, obviously enjoying being to one to tease Jane for a change.
"No," Jane stated flatly. "Stop bringing up that tool. You're too good for him. I want to take you out for a nice, respectable dinner at one of those places you like that I can't pronounce." She smirked. "The naked part can come later, maybe. If the date goes well."
Maura blinked, letting go of her gnawed lip to smile. "The word date implies…"
"Yeah," Jane agreed quietly. "If that's okay with you…"
"Yes!" Maura interjected eagerly, blush coloring her cheeks. Her tone calmed, "I mean, yes, Jane. Pursuing an interpersonal relationship with you is precisely what I want." Jane grinned, amused by Maura's way of expressing herself. "I would like it if we were to try dating," the doctor clarified, ducking her face as her blush brightened.
Jane nodded, taking another quick kiss before she pushed herself to her feet. "Great. Then I'll pick you up at eight." She winked over her shoulder as she left Maura's office and the doctor slumped back into her chair, giggling giddily as her busy mind started trying to figure out what to wear.
She wouldn't ever make a habit of lying, and never would lie to Jane if she humanly could, but she couldn't help thinking that it had certainly come in handy. Just this once.
*****
I'm not crazy about the last line, but I'm tried of staring at this and not coming up with anything else...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2011-08-19 09:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-19 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-08-20 04:42 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-08-20 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 02:20 pm (UTC)And I can totally relate, I never feel like my endings are very good either! But I think yours was fine. Just this once. Wonderful, I suppose the sentence before was just a tad too long? (Perhaps the middle bit could be left out)
But yes, thanks for sharing you fic!
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Date: 2011-08-20 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-11-03 03:15 am (UTC)